English for the upper crust!

By Syed Neaz Ahmad

Language, it is said, is a steed that takes you far. Nothing can be closer to the truth. It does, and it has. But sometimes it not only takes you to far-off lands, it can also land you in very strange situations. When you think of the idiosyncrasy of English language, the etymology of some expressions and the personal mannerism they are subjected to then one is advised to approach the “steed” with caution. It sometimes kicks. Or how else can you explain the phenomenon of a “nose that runs” and “feet that smell”.

As a language steeped in culture and traditions, many English expressions owe their origin to the life and habits of the ladies and gentlemen whose privilege it was to provide colour and verve to the language. As we labour to learn the language let’s take a deep look and find out the origins of “don’t throw the baby out with the water”.

Keeping yourself clean was quite a job in the good old days. Baths were filled with hot water. The man of the house had the privilege of the first dip in the nice, clean tub of water. Sons and other men of the household, then women and children had a go. Finally babies were given a chance to “clean” themselves. By that time the water was so dirty and dark that babies could be actually lost in it. Without being dramatic, it’s safe to presume that there was a definite danger of babies being thrown out with the dirty water.

Having had a good bath in the merry month of May people got married in June. However, what with summer heat they already smelled and hence brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odour. One bouquet was good enough for the bride and the bridegroom. Had the Japanese got the wind of it then a different version of two-in-one would have been launched then.

Ever given a thought to what a heavy downpour has got to do with cats and dogs? Most houses in England had thatched roofs – thick straw piled high with no wood underneath. It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all pets; dogs, cats, bugs, mice, rats lived in the roof. When it rained heavily it got kind of slippery for the animals and one by one they would fall off the roof. Scared of thunder and wind, children would often scream: “It’s raining cats and dogs.”

The weather was usually wet and windy. When it wasn’t wet it was dirty. Only the wealthy had something to fend off the dirt. Hence the expression “dirt poor” was born. But the dirt didn’t stop there. Wind often blew it up the rich man’s floors, which would get slippery when wet. They spread thresh on the floor to help keep their footing. As the winter wore on – to keep things warm and tidy – they added more thresh until it was so high that when you opened the door thresh slipped outside.

A piece of wood was placed at the entrance to hold the thresh this gave way to the expression “thresh-hold”. When it came to dinner time bread was divided according to the status. The workers of the house got the burnt bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle and the guests got the top or the “upper-crust”.

The concept of recycling was born in an English graveyard! Being a small country, people started running out of places to bury their dead. So, they would dig up coffins and take up their bones and re-use the grave. In re-opening these coffins, some were found to have scratch marks on the inside. Wise men realized that they have been burying their dead “alive”!

To prevent such a tragedy they would tie a string on the dead body’s wrist and lead it through the coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a bell. Someone would have to sit out through night and listen for the bell. This gave birth to three expressions, ‘graveyard shift’, ‘saved-by-the- bell’ and ‘dead-ringer’.