Daily NEW AGE OP - ED
A situation called marriage
Researchers say that a brief slow-down because of the no-fault rules is not going to arrest the decline in marriages or prevent couples from going their own ways. Even if they are obliged legally to wait for a year, the break-up rate is likely to go up. Community leaders, social workers and family campaigners have thus expressed their worst fears about the institution of marriage, writes Syed Neaz Ahmad.
‘Easy come, easy go’ is not just a figure of speech these days. When it comes to marriage, it turns out to be the state of affairs in Europe and around the world. Marriages have been on the decline over the last 45 years. As well-known faces keep featuring in divorce cases all over Britain, new calculations reveal that recent drop in the number of actual divorces recorded is misleading because fewer marriages are taking place. Yet the proportion of those unions that end in divorce is at an all time high.
Statistics released by the Central Office of Population Censuses and Surveys show that a quarter of those who wed in the late 70s and 80s had parted company by mid 90s. Charles and Diana’s divorce is a case in the point. The figures are not only dismal but they cast long shadows on the fate of those already married - at least 41 percent of those already married, going by the statistics, are fated to part.
One in nine who married this year is likely to divorce before their fifth wedding anniversary and one in four before their tenth. Reforms in divorce laws have not contributed to the stability of the institution of marriage.
Some say quick divorces nicknamed ‘quickie’ have even made it easier for couples to part company on one pretext or another. It is often said that when women undergo major crisis, they head straight for the beauty parlor. They wash the previous man right out of the hair and their life. If one prominent family the House of Windsor is taken as the role model, social workers say, they have not helped the case for stable marriages.
A 1984 research had forecast that only 37 percent of the marriages will be broken, while in 1980 only just over a third, 34 percent would have reached divorce.
Researchers say that a brief slow-down because of the no-fault rules is not going to arrest the decline in marriages or prevent couples from going their own ways. Even if they are obliged legally to wait for a year, the break-up rate is likely to go up. Community leaders, social workers and family campaigners have thus expressed their worst fears about the institution of marriage.
This is bad news. An attitude calling for change and for marriage to regain its proper place in the society is generally observed in the family campaigners. On the other end of the phenomenon, figures also reveal a rise in the number of births to unmarried mothers. Between the months of July and September in 1995, some 34 percent of children were born to single mothers, compared to 32.6 percent in the same period in 1994.
When Elvis Presley sang his famous Summertime Blues, he obviously did not have single mothers on his mind. Ask the social workers, the departments of social security, housing and education - it s no music for them.
This is the sort of chicken and egg situation most married couples are likely to find themselves in. Or, are the social scientists talking turkey? No, this is not about the very intelligent people from a country with a similar name. There is an amusing anecdote given as the origin of the phrase: In colonial days, a white hunter and a Red Indian made a pact that they would share equally between them anything they caught.
At the end of the day, when they came to share out what they had bagged - three crows and two turkeys, the white man first handed a crow to the Indian and a turkey to himself, then another crow to the Indian and the second turkey to himself. At that point the Indian is said to have remarked: You talk all turkey for you. Only talk crow for Indian.
Now how many wives married this year are going to find themselves in this crow and turkey situation? Let us hope, not too many!
The author is a London-based writer, critic & TV anchor.
Statistics released by the Central Office of Population Censuses and Surveys show that a quarter of those who wed in the late 70s and 80s had parted company by mid 90s. Charles and Diana’s divorce is a case in the point. The figures are not only dismal but they cast long shadows on the fate of those already married - at least 41 percent of those already married, going by the statistics, are fated to part.
One in nine who married this year is likely to divorce before their fifth wedding anniversary and one in four before their tenth. Reforms in divorce laws have not contributed to the stability of the institution of marriage.
Some say quick divorces nicknamed ‘quickie’ have even made it easier for couples to part company on one pretext or another. It is often said that when women undergo major crisis, they head straight for the beauty parlor. They wash the previous man right out of the hair and their life. If one prominent family the House of Windsor is taken as the role model, social workers say, they have not helped the case for stable marriages.
A 1984 research had forecast that only 37 percent of the marriages will be broken, while in 1980 only just over a third, 34 percent would have reached divorce.
Researchers say that a brief slow-down because of the no-fault rules is not going to arrest the decline in marriages or prevent couples from going their own ways. Even if they are obliged legally to wait for a year, the break-up rate is likely to go up. Community leaders, social workers and family campaigners have thus expressed their worst fears about the institution of marriage.
This is bad news. An attitude calling for change and for marriage to regain its proper place in the society is generally observed in the family campaigners. On the other end of the phenomenon, figures also reveal a rise in the number of births to unmarried mothers. Between the months of July and September in 1995, some 34 percent of children were born to single mothers, compared to 32.6 percent in the same period in 1994.
When Elvis Presley sang his famous Summertime Blues, he obviously did not have single mothers on his mind. Ask the social workers, the departments of social security, housing and education - it s no music for them.
This is the sort of chicken and egg situation most married couples are likely to find themselves in. Or, are the social scientists talking turkey? No, this is not about the very intelligent people from a country with a similar name. There is an amusing anecdote given as the origin of the phrase: In colonial days, a white hunter and a Red Indian made a pact that they would share equally between them anything they caught.
At the end of the day, when they came to share out what they had bagged - three crows and two turkeys, the white man first handed a crow to the Indian and a turkey to himself, then another crow to the Indian and the second turkey to himself. At that point the Indian is said to have remarked: You talk all turkey for you. Only talk crow for Indian.
Now how many wives married this year are going to find themselves in this crow and turkey situation? Let us hope, not too many!
The author is a London-based writer, critic & TV anchor.
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